Interesting

Have been talking to my friend about Stampin' Up Stamps - about becoming a demonstrator, really exciting but need to work out if I would have an outlet and what the pro-s and con-s are! Fun though and I would love to sit and chill with paper everywhere.

Been a funny week...................glad it is nearly friday! :)

I found this on the internet the other day and after reading it every word made perfect sense - all I need to do now is develop the ability to leave them to it and get on with fussing over myself - suppose after a couple of years I may learn to cope LOL :)

“The cave is critical for men,” explains Mitzi Gold, a clinical psychologist and social worker, and director of the Mars & Venus Counseling Center of Honolulu. “The cave is a place where a man likes to go to relieve stress. Men all around the planet are doing this. They need it. It’s part of their cycle.”

Gold says this is extremely important for a woman to understand. “Men need to work off the stress they experience in their life,” she explains.

Gold notes that women are always connected to relationships, so they don’t understand why men need their cave time.

“Any chance to connect for a woman sounds good to them!” says Gold. “Women want to connect more and more.”

Dr. John Gray, author of the Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus series of books, likens a man’s intimacy cycle to a rubber band.

“When they pull away, they can stretch only so far before they come springing back,” he says. “This cycle involves getting close, pulling away, and then getting close again. Most women are surprised to realize that even when a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer.”

Gray notes that women mis-interpret a man’s pulling away because women generally pull away for different reasons, such as she’s hurt or doesn’t trust him to understand her feelings or has been disappointed.

Men are pulling away only to fulfill their need for independence and autonomy, says Gray, but once they get a little time alone, they will come back ready to love again.

Gold adds that the worst thing women can do in this situation is to chase a man into his cave. “You really don’t want to go in there anyway,” she says. “He won’t be very helpful or friendly and a woman could end

up getting her feelings hurt.”

The best thing for a woman to do when a man is in his cave, she says, is to do something for herself.

“It’s a time when he’s not available for her so she should take the opportunity to do something to make herself happy. The happier you are when he comes out of his cave, the happier he’ll be. If he comes out and just gets scolded, he’d rather have just stayed in there.”

Gold says women need to learn to honor a man’s need for space on occasion and trust that he will come out of his cave. “It’s not anything personal. It’s just the dance of intimacy for men,” she says. “They pull away, but then they come back and want to be close.”

It would be good for the man, however, to learn to warn the woman when he’s feeling like he needs a little “cave time,” even if it’s as simple as just saying those very words.